I don't like running out of things. I don't like running out of toothpaste and face wash and gas, and I especially don't like running out things like youth and time. But, c'est la vie. That's how the universe works I suppose.
Sometimes, more so in the past but still to a certain extent, I feel like I'm running out of time. The music industry, like most entertainment industries, is based on beauty and youth and there isn't too much time before you're too old and too ugly. For years I've stressed about this. At 24, I thought I was too old to get signed. I assumed that if I turned 30 and I hadn't already had contracts and international tours and albums and a mansion, I was done for. What I didn't assume in my early 20's is that as I creep closer to 30, I'd care about less and less about all that stuff.
Lately, I've been writing better music and I've been much less angsty than I used to be. I've been caring less about the industry and more about putting on good shows. I've paid less attention to gimmicks and more attention to singing well and writing good music.
While I still stress about things, I've learned that running out of bullshit thoughts isn't really a bad thing. I've resigned myself to the fact that I won't be the next McCartney or Lennon or Cobain or whoever. I'm happy with my life, because really, how could I not be? I may not have a record deal by the time I'm 30 (and really who wants one of those these days?) and I may not have all the things a 20 year old wants, but I'm not 20 years old anymore. I'm older and I have everything I need.
That is except toothpaste and face wash.
